What Is It That Women Really Want?

July 10, 2010

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. “ – Ephesians 5:25

The famous psychiatrist, Sigmund Freud, once said, “The great question that has never been answered, which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul is, “What does a woman want?” The Atlanta Journal-Constitution finally gave him the answer a few years ago when they said, “What women really want, put simply, is chocolate.”

I’m going to let Sigmund and the AJC fight that one out, but the Bible actually answered that question centuries ago. The number one thing for all husbands to know is that our wives’ greatest need is to feel loved. What is meant by “loved?” The word used in scripture is agape which means unconditional love. It’s not speaking of romantic love. Agape love means loving people in a way to meet their needs. Yet most women have a need for romance, and there’s no doubt that romantic love is important. But over the long haul, what is needed most of all is a mature, unconditional, committed love.

Scripture mentions other traits a woman seeks from her husband, such as patience, kindness, and understanding. These are certainly important, but all of these traits keep coming back to the base need to be loved unconditionally. In fact, if you love her unconditionally, the other traits she needs will usually follow.

So, while it is certainly okay for you to keep on buying your wife chocolates, never let material gifts be a substitute for your clear responsibility to provide her with pure agape love.