Bone-Headed Honesty

January 23, 2009

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.” – Colossians 3:13

As a new husband, I made the decision to always be totally honest with Anne. So, whenever I had a lustful thought, I’d say, “You know, I could be sexually attracted to her.” Well, after about a year of this, Anne just plain exploded! “Don’t tell me that stuff!” she stated, “You’re driving me crazy!” Hey, I was trying to be honest. But, it finally registered that maybe I hadn’t really handled that situation very well. True, I needed to confess my sin-thought to God, but I was foolish to create that insecurity for my wife. To her, in that case, I should have kept my confessing between God and me.

But when sin goes beyond thoughts and some action has taken place – such as dabbling in pornography – then that sin does need to be confessed to your wife. Your marriage will never have the closeness God intends unless you and your partner are honest on this subject.

And a word to the wives: if your husband is man enough to confess a problem that he’s dealing with, I hope that you’ll seek to forgive. You say, “But I’ve been deceived. I’ve been betrayed.” Yes you have, but I hope you’ll seek to forgive. Because an opportunity is created when your husband genuinely repents and you are willing to forgive. It’s an opportunity for a new beginning, to be close in your marriage; an opportunity of love and respect, just as God desires.