AWOL Fathers
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. " - Ephesians 6:4
No statistic is more troubling than this: a third of all births in America are illegitimate. That means that for a third of all children, their life begins without the presence of a father in the home. But it's even more tragic in the African American community, where two-thirds of all births are illegitimate. And, for those lucky few children who have a dad in residence, often, the light's just not on. Either he is passive in his leadership role with the children, or so involved in his career that he is essentially nonexistent in the home. Certainly, what we are seeing in our contemporary society is the crisis of the absentee dad. It is terrifying to think what this means to our nation's future.
God's Word is clear that the father is to be the spiritual leader with a spirit of love for his wife and his children. This is not a dictatorial or authoritarian leadership, it's Christ-centered servant leadership. It requires understanding of the fragile psyche of a child in the home that needs to be built up and not torn down. It means understanding the importance of discipline in the child's life. And it involves loving instruction, explaining what is right and wrong.
The first step in being a good father - as with every other aspect of success - is simply showing up. Then, when we show up, let's move it up a notch to be the kind of dad God expects us to be.
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5 Comments
I'm not an illegitimate child, nor do I have a father consumed with his work. But I have a father who, nonetheless, is not a spiritual leader. He is caring, loving, gentle, kind, and all the things a Dad should be, except for this one flaw. Fathers, I encourage you to be the spiritual leaders God calls you to be, as I hope to one day be myself. And pray for me, that I can be a light to my parents. - Luke_13
I am so fortunate to have a loving and devotional husband and father to my 3 children...I thank God everyday for the blessing he has given me. - Amanda Osborne
As an African American man, father of 3 and youth mentor, I see the negative effects of an absent father everyday. It saddens me to no end to see so many children being raised without the presence of a father. It is no secret that black men need to step up to the plate. Stop worrying about being a "player" and play a larger role in your child's life.
Recently, everyone wants to jump on Sen. Obama's case for exposing the absence of fathers in the black community. Well sometimes the truth hurts. But as my grandmother used to say, "Tell the truth and shame the devil." - Montre Everett
Montre, it takes some degree of courage to speak out against such things. However, turning a blind eye to an obvious problem only makes it worse. I commend you for being a mentor as well as a father in your childrens lives. I have been around enough years now to know how important it is for a child to have that in their life. - Matthew
By the way........I would also like to add how fortunate I am to have a father that was involved in every aspect of my life and took a real interest in me growing up. I am afraid to think where I would be without his guidance growing up. I can assure you, not nearly as successful as I am. Thank you dad, I love you. - Matthew