It took me a long time to understand that forgiving doesn't necessarilly mean you forget and become friends with the person who wronged you. It has as much to do with letting go of the anger and desire for vengence as it does with love. Forgiving is soul cleansing. It allows you to turn the outcome over to God.
Of course there are times where forgive and repair are the appropriate remedies for both parties.

Great points, Grant.

I've also learned that forgiveness doesn't mean pretending what someone else did to you wasn't wrong, or didn't hurt. Instead it is more acknowledging the pain and choosing to "give it to God."

One other thing, forgiveness, for me, seems to come a lot easier when I am humble.

I second Grant with his comment. Letting go of the anger can sometimes be hard but it is also a beginning.

Isn't the response of Jesus always appropriate, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they do."? It seems to me that people are either acting in total ignorance when they say or do something to hurt another person or else they are acting under the influence of the evil one and they have made a bad choice to go with the suggestions of the evil one so in that sense they are out of control and do not really know or understand what they do. Only through Jesus are we able to get past the hurting deed and by our faith take a leap over to the side of forgiveness. It isn't natural. It is supernatural when such forgiveness occurs and it is solely through the power of Jesus Christ. This makes the Christian faith unique.

Don't be so fast for you Christians to think that you have the monopoly on foregivness, for forgiving exists in many major religions and beliefs, and even exists amongst atheists ;)

Again, this is in the Bible because foregiving is a part of human compassion and nature, which humans wrote there in the first place. Religions are man made.

As for John Paul II, he said that the Our Lady of Fatima "used her maternal hand to guide the bullet" away from his major organs. If she guided the bullet, I'm not sure why she didn't guide the bullet to miss him altogether.

What we often forget is that everything we are instructed to do in the bible is actually for our own welfare. When we harbor a grudge most of the time the other person could absolutely care less and goes on their merry way without giving it a second though, but those that are angry and not willing to forgive them are stewing on the situation and literally making themselves ill by keeping their blood pressure raised and probably causing all sorts of harm to their body not to mention their mental state and attitude. When our attitude suffers everyone around us suffers and it's just simply a snowball effect that effects everyone around us negatively except for probably the one person we're feeling rage at.

It's funny, but after I just made my last comment I looked at the rest of my emails. I happen to get newsletters from web md everyday and one was entitled that Anger could make you a ticking timebomb. It was basically saying that people who had a habit of keeping a angry attitude were more likely to have heart disease from keeping an elevated cortisol and adrenalin level up in their bodies so much. Just another reason to follow Jesus's command to have a peaceful loving caring heart toward others- because that tender heart for others will bless ours...God bless

It seems to me there are a few on this website that seem to have an extremely angry spirit.I hope they will someday find God's peace that passes all understanding despite any circumstances that might surround them.

I agree that harbouring an angry "spirit" is bad - bad for society, and bad for you, for the reasons you suggest.

I'm just saying that Christians don't have ownership of compassion and foregiveness. They were around before Christianity was invented, and they will be around long after no one left on Earth even knows what Christianity even is.

JCO I actually agree with you that as you say that Christians don't necessarily have the corner on forgiveness. Basically what I'm saying and I believe most christians mean is that it is much easier for us to let things go and forgive having the help of the Lord and having been forgiven by Him ourselves. In no way are any of us as christians perfect by any means. We have faults just like anyone else. If you read Paul's letters to the churches he chastized some of the converts often for not living up to the example that Christ gave them on how to live. It's only when someone is willing to listen and follow Christ's example that someone can find God's will and purpose for their life and their life can be changed. We are not perfect, just forgiven. God bless

JCO -
To be honest, I'm perfectly happy for you to live your life as you please, but your negative comments on this site are becoming wearisome. They lack substance, reason and civility. Don't you have anything better to do with your time?

I don't think there is any lack of reason on my part, that's all on your side of the fence.

You're right on one thing, I am wasting my time. Thus, I'm gone for a while...maybe until you guys start grossly misrepresenting what science is all about again.

I believe that we Christians should learn to love and forgive people who have made ignorant negative comments toward Christianity.

Maybe it's God's Will that they come to this site.

JCO, God loves you and He reaches His love to you.

May the Holy Spirit enlighten your soul.

I think that's true Ray. I think sometimes as christians we get a little too comfortable in our cocoons and forget Christ's commission to go out and witness to others even when we're very uncomfortable or possibly even afraid. There is no one that is beyond the reach of Christ and it's not for us to judge who is redeemable and who is not. As my pastor says from time to time that the purpose of church should not be a place where nice people just show up to be nice to each other. I don't think we should ever turn from any opportunity to witness to anyone or to be fearful to share God's word with anyone.

Yes, forgiveness was around before Christianity was. but it was started by God. He forgave and because of that I am saved. Bless everyone